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Stream of Consciousness/General Conversation Thread
- Thread starter TennJeep1618
- Start date
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Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
Wood burning stoves to be banned by 2027... wth? What is with these stupid people??
Southern cops have a way with words!
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were
taken
off their car videos: ;
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went
through." ;
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while." ;
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a
worthless document." (My Favorite) ;
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." ;
> 5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT) ;
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" ;
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" ;
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
again
or I'll give you another ticket." ;
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" ;
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
poop." ;
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven." ;
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime
Information Center ) ;
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" ;
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed
to write as many tickets as we can." ;
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." ;
AND THE WINNER IS.... ;
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here !!
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were
taken
off their car videos: ;
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went
through." ;
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while." ;
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a
worthless document." (My Favorite) ;
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." ;
> 5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT) ;
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" ;
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" ;
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
again
or I'll give you another ticket." ;
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" ;
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
poop." ;
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven." ;
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime
Information Center ) ;
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" ;
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed
to write as many tickets as we can." ;
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." ;
AND THE WINNER IS.... ;
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here !!
Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
Out at the new property building stuff. Built a rack to store chain link and pists an top rail, future projects.
Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
WTH???
www.foxnews.com
Pentagon panel recommends bases stop selling guns to troops under 25 to fight suicides
The Department of Defense has received a report from its Suicide Prevention and Response Independent Review Committee calling for stricter gun control on bases.
www.foxnews.com
Retarded. Court martial and fire every one of the gun grabbers on that Pentagon panel for being anti-military, anti-2A and anti-American, before their woke cancer spreads. If the weak want to off themselves then they should be allowed to... no law on a piece of paper is going to stop them anyways. It's their God-given freedom of choice. And while we are at it, give back the issued weapons to every one of our military fighting men while in garrison stateside, right now... on a daily basis (how the rifles used to be, before the 1950's saw the rifles locked up in armories 24/7 by politicians fearful of their own military) before China woops our butt in our own yard because our state of the art most powerful military in the world has their service rifles locked behind bars in the armoryWTH???
Pentagon panel recommends bases stop selling guns to troops under 25 to fight suicides
The Department of Defense has received a report from its Suicide Prevention and Response Independent Review Committee calling for stricter gun control on bases.
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I'm just gonna lay down some honesty based on, just about, lifelong experience.WTH???
Pentagon panel recommends bases stop selling guns to troops under 25 to fight suicides
The Department of Defense has received a report from its Suicide Prevention and Response Independent Review Committee calling for stricter gun control on bases.
As long as I can remember (80s), DoD installations had the ability to track/register firearms of those that lived on the installation.
Anyone that has a cac card should know your card is linked to DBIDS; look it up. Being probably the only person to ever read the capabilities/features of DBIDS, I soon noted that one of the inherent (built in from go) capabilties was privately owned firearms. It's probably been almost 20 years since I was told, "oh, that's just an option, not mandatory." Well, here it might come....
Personally, although I enjoy the discount, I'll not buy one more damn thing on base if they start registering guns, not even gas. Foxtrot Uniform.
Regarding suicide. Anyone I knew in the .mil that did it was well over 25, hid their intent very well, and was obviously determined to succeed when they made their final choice.
Maybe the DoD ought to strongly consider who/what they recruit, routinely promote before ready, and retain. 25; let's go with the 20's. IMO, we (DoD) could solve an ass-load of problems/issues by raising the service entry age to about 22-23. Graduate HS, go to college on your own dime/time, have FUN, grow up/throw up, then apply. I'll stop short of addressing the E1 with a wife+kids, and/or the single parent issue. If ya, really wanna know, ya'll know I got an opinion...
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Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Tech Support
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a “mail order” bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, “She’ll be twenty-one in November.”
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. “How’s the new wife?”, asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, “Good – She’s pregnant.”
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, “And how’s the hired hand?”
Without hesitating, Tom said, “She’s pregnant too.”
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a “mail order” bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, “She’ll be twenty-one in November.”
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. “How’s the new wife?”, asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, “Good – She’s pregnant.”
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, “And how’s the hired hand?”
Without hesitating, Tom said, “She’s pregnant too.”
Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
More work on the new place. Rigged some lights.
Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
Thanks, just temp stuff right now. Should start building in about 30 days!
Does anyone see the value in a device that taps voltage directly off the ignition coil and routes it to the passenger seat each time I have to hear that stupid chime telling me YOU unbuckled YOUR seat belt? No? Just me I guess. Well, that felt good to get it out, any way. Back to the show.
Snake-Eyes
Master
Cut the buckles out of a junkyard vehicle, same make and model, and keep them handy for when you're offroading and don't want to listen to your smart car reporting on you to your GM Government Motors slave driving overlords thru OnStar (or Ford's equivalent clone of OnStar).
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I saved $1,000 on a 308 DPMS SASS once when it had been a floor model for so long that the store had lost the box and papers and such. It was unfired but fingered by everyone and I didn't care because that barrel was brand new. I said "thank you" and "sir" profusely
Don't be scared to ask a manager about buying a floor model
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Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
How I imagine rat poison tastes...bleh. i like trying the new flavors of sodas. My favorite one right now is mountain dew Purple Thunder.
Rebel_Rider1969
Well Known Nuisance
Oh, this explains it. I wonder what color unicorn I'm gonna turn into?
