Stream of Consciousness/General Conversation Thread

[Rapier]

I am in process of getting my 20+ year abode ready for rehab. Getting ready for all the floors being replaced, one bathroom demoed, plus, plus. Then it will be on the market, about time for O'Bozo the first to be sent packing.

 

[fl57caveman]

These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget….
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

 

[Stagman]

 

[madeSICC88]

Last day in Idaho. Back to normal life tomorrow. Excited to get back to our own place and back to the daily grind.

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[Ryan]

So who else has watched making a murderer? I'm on episode 5.

 

[rtprthd]

So who else has watched making a murderer? I'm on episode 5.

This on Netflix?


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[Rapier]

I have been watching the real life comedy show from the Jackson, MS city council.
Ed

 

[Viking1204]

http://www.huntfishsport.com/web.aspx?cmd=calendar

Well, back from my hunting trip to Conecuh County and let me say, I'm starting to believe there may be some truth to the Hunting Calendars like the one linked here. Last weekend Friday through Monday it said all 4 days were 1 out of 5 stars, the lowest rating you can get and I didn't see any animals besides squirrels and birds, squirrels and birds, oh did I say squirrels and birds? Normal I'll see a few Turkeys, nope, just squirrels and birds!

 

[madeSICC88]

So who else has watched making a murderer? I'm on episode 5.

I have heard it was a good show. I started a podcast called "serial" a few days ago that is supposed to be around the same premise. Its pretty good listen is you're into podcasts.

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[JWlineman]

Y'alls president is talking...

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[Stagman]

Y'alls president is talking...

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I would rather try to shove a wet noodle up a Bobcat's ass while in a phone booth than listen to him.

 

[JWlineman]

I would rather try to shove a wet noodle up a Bobcat's ass while in a phone booth than listen to him.

It was pretty close to that, I made myself listen hoping for some meaningful dialog but there was none.

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[3 men & a boat]

I have been watching the real life comedy show from the Jackson, MS city council.
Ed

I'm amazed when I bring this story up to people and they haven't heard about it.

He needs to be prosecuted for inciting a riot.


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[Viking1204]

Y'alls president is talking...

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Not mine, I didn't vote the dipshit into office either time.

 

[fl57caveman]

WELCOME to 2015:

• Our Phones–Wireless
• Cooking – Fireless
• Cars – Keyless
• Food – Fatless

• Tires –Tubeless
• Dress – Sleeveless
• Youth – Jobless
• Leaders – Shameless
• Relationships – Meaningless
• Attitudes–Careless
• Babies – Fatherless

• Feelings–Heartless
• Education–Valueless
• Children–Mannerless
• Country–Godless


We are SPEECHLESS,
Government is
CLUELESS,


And our Politicians
are WORTHLESS!


I'm scared – Shitless!

 

[Rapier]

Perhaps you now have seen the liar in chief with his tears, like he gives a damn about anyone except Obama. This is a disgusting nothing of a man much less a public official.
Ed

 

[JohnAL]

Perhaps you now have seen the liar in chief with his tears, like he gives a damn about anyone except Obama. This is a disgusting nothing of a man much less a public official.
Ed

He put on a good act. Maybe he should have been an actor instead of president.

 

[bohica793]

Perhaps you now have seen the liar in chief with his tears, like he gives a damn about anyone except Obama. This is a disgusting nothing of a man much less a public official.
Ed

Putin and the Mullahs are shedding tears also......from laughing so damned hard at this idiot.

 

[TennJeep1618]

My wife can attest, I started shouting profanity laced phrases regarding his intelligence when he mentioned Chicago.

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[JohnAL]

Putin and the Mullahs are shedding tears also......from laughing so damned hard at this idiot.

sadly true