Stream of Consciousness/General Conversation Thread

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  • JWlineman

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    I can't wait to see it go south Olive and make the turn onto Scenic Hyw...
    Made that turn last night. Making the jog down 9 mile to hwy 29 tonight...or slow crawl down 9 mile.

    Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
     

    Rapier

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    One of my customers is a rigger, he moved the aux emergency generator into the Crystal River Nuke plant and the custom designed and built engine to run it, made by Colt Industries. They choose the route based on the load's height, width, length and weight. They have to clear everything, turn at every turn and the road surface and road bed including all bridges they cross, must support the load with tons to spare.

    Moving big stuff is an interesting project.
    Ed
     

    fl57caveman

    eclectic atavist
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    Confused about the difference between socialism, Communism, and the politics of huge corporations? This basic “dictionary” may help.

    Feudalism: You have two cows. The lord of the manor takes some of the milk. And all the cream.

    Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

    Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one of your cows and gives it to your neighbor. You're both forced to join a cooperative where you have to teach your neighbor how to take care of his cow.

    Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as its regulations say you should need.

    Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

    Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

    Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

    Communism: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for you share of the milk, but it's so long that the milk is sour by the time you get it.

    Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

    Militarism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

    Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

    Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

    American Democracy: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate." The cows are set free.

    Democracy, Democrat-style: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being so successful. You vote politicians into office who tax your cows, which forces you to sell one to pay the tax. The politicians use the tax money to buy a cow for your neighbor. You feel good. Barbra Streisand sings for you.

    Democracy, Republican-style: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You move to a better neighborhood.

    Indian Democracy: You have two cows. You worship them.

    British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they go mad. The government gives you compensation for your diseased cows, compensation for your lost income, and a grant not to use your fields for anything else. And tells the public not to worry.

    Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

    Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

    Capitalism: You have two cows. You lay one off, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when she drops dead.

    Singaporean Democracy: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

    Hong Kong Capitalism (alias Enron Capitalism):
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute an debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
    The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Isands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
    The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
    Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.

    Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

    Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

    Foreign Policy, American-Style: You have two cows. The government taxes them and uses the money to buy a cow for a poor farmer a country ruled by a dictator. The farmer has no hay to feed the cow and his religion forbids him from eating it. The cow dies. The man dies. The dictator confiscates the dead man's farm and sells it, using the money to purchase US military equipment. The President declares the program a success and announces closer ties with our new ally.

    Bureaucracy, American-Style: You have two cows but you have to kill one of them because the government will only give you a license for one of them. The license requires you to sell all your milk to the government, which uses it to make cheese. The government pays lots of money to store the cheese in refrigerated warehouses. When the cheese spoils, the government distributes it to the poor. The poor get sick from the cheese, go to the emergency room, and are turned away because they have no health insurance. The President declares the program a success and reminds us that we have the finest health care system in the world.

    American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one to a subsidiary company and lease it back to yourself so you can declare it as a tax loss. Your bosses give you a huge bonus. You inject the cows with drugs and they produce four times the normal amount of milk. Your bosses give you a huge bonus. When the drugs cause one of the cows to drop dead you announce to the press that you have down-sized, reducing expenses by 50 percent. The company stock goes up and your bosses give you a huge bonus. You lay off all your workers and move your production facilities to Mexico. You get a huge bonus. You contribute some of your profit to the President's re-election campaign. The President announces tax cuts for corporations in order to stimulate the economy.

    Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You teach the cows to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Your cows always get higher test scores than cows in the U.S. or Europe, but they drink a lot of sake.

    German Corporation: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year and are very expensive to repair.

    Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count your cows and discover you really have five cows! You have more vodka. You count them again and discover you have 42 cows! You stop counting cows and have some more vodka. The Russian Mafia arrives and takes over all your cows. You have more vodka.

    Italian Corporation: You have two cows but you can't find them. While searching for them you meet a beautiful woman, take her out to lunch and then make love to her. Life is good.

    French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want another cow, more vacation and shorter work weeks. The French government announces that it will never agree to your demands. You go to lunch and eat fabulous food and drink wonderful wine. While you are at lunch, the airline pilots and flight controllers join your strike, shutting down all air traffic. The truckers block all the roads and the dock workers block all the ports. By dinner time the French government announces it agrees with all your demands. Life is good.

    Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is an outdated symbol of your decadent, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. They get married and adopt a calf.

    Counterculturalism: Wow, dude, there's like . . . these two cows, man. You have got to have some of this milk.

    Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
     

    Viking1204

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    TGIF, well my Friday anyways, last day of work this week with Mom in town. Off tomorrow and Monday! Looking forward to the time off but going to be busy, no rest for the weary!
     

    Ross7

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    An email I got today, and I dunno... I could sure use the money. But I'm just not comfortable doing business with a man named Pee. :suspicious:

    "Hello Friend,
    Excuse my invasion of your privacy. Dear Friend, I am Mr. Pee Chor Meng, from Malaysia... I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $19,500,000.00 away from my Bank to a private Bank... Also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum, if you agree to transact the business with me..."
     

    Khaot1c

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    If you loan me 1 million of that, I will farm 2 cows

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk
     

    JWlineman

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    Maybe Mr. Pee Wee needs the obligatory Craigslist ad of free pure bred German Shepherd puppies...
     

    wildrider666

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    An email I got today, and I dunno... I could sure use the money. But I'm just not comfortable doing business with a man named Pee. :suspicious:

    "Hello Friend,
    Excuse my invasion of your privacy. Dear Friend, I am Mr. Pee Chor Meng, from Malaysia... I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $19,500,000.00 away from my Bank to a private Bank... Also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum, if you agree to transact the business with me..."

    Dear Peeon Meng,

    I fully understand your dilemma and wish to be of immediate help. Please wire the full amount via Western Union International Service to Bay County, FL, USA under the name of Besa Mi Culo with password Pendejo.
     

    Idoono

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    Seen one bike with a sidecar towing a coffin behind it. Who says you can't take it with you?

    Idoono
     

    shootnstarz

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    Holy Cash Cow Batman !!!! Just for grins I looked up the available seating at the Alabama game today. From what I could gather tickets range from $120 for an end zone seat at 12,000 ft in the next county over to $390 for one close to the 50 yd line but up about half way in the stands.

    And did I see a $75 charge just for parking?

    I like football but geeze !!!!!!

    Rick
     
    Last edited:

    rtprthd

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    That would be why my ass will be watching from my couch. Tickets have been outrageous ever since saban got there. You can always pay a college kid $20 to park in there yard. That's what my friends and I always charged when we were there. Would cover the costs of the keg for the night.
     

    Ross7

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    Book that I ordered from Amazon came today. Read the author's book "One Second After" several years ago and hopefully this one will be just as good.

    2i1o1g7.jpg
     

    JohnAL

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    I enjoyed One Second After. I did not know this one was out. Off to Amazon I go!
     

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